I grew up always being the funny, fat friend, my personality was always over the top. I constantly made jokes, told stories, wrote funny songs, spoke in silly voices, all to make people laugh. I loved, and still, love to make people laugh. This became my identity. I was funny and people like funny. But I was also fat and fuck, some people DO NOT like fat.
At some point in my early 20's being fat became my identity. I started to accept being treated poorly. I started to settle for relationships that were toxic. I started to hate myself because everything I saw told me that because of the way I looked, I didn't deserve good things or people in my life. After a failed engagement I began to feel trapped in a negative mindset and I needed a change.
Social Media was just taking off. Facebook was in its humble beginnings and connecting people from all around the world. And by some twist of fate, I ran across a woman who I could finally relate to. My body looked like hers. She was a Saskatchewan girl, a plus sized model and a well-dressed buxom babe. She was the beautiful Elly Mayday.
I was inspired. I started dressing better. I started to style my hair better. I learned how to do my makeup. I started to smile at strangers. People started to smile back. It was in those moments that I realized it was never the size of my body holding me back. There was nothing wrong with the way my body looked. It was my mind keeping me chained to an idea and to a perception of what happiness really looked like. Once I realized I was my own worst enemy, NOTHING could hold me back.
People would say, “You shouldn't wear that,” or “Why do you wear so much makeup?” All stupid comments that I learned to simply ignore. I was no longer a slave to what society told me I HAD to be. I was just living my life for me. Free of pretense. Free of comparison. I opened my mind. I opened my heart. And love just seemed to flow in.
I've learned that by putting myself out into the world of social media, I am able to help people see that they don't need to fit into a single idea of what is beautiful or what their life SHOULD look like. Confidence never comes without a fight. It's daily maintenance. A combination of words of affirmation, reassessing and realigning our thoughts, throwing away judgements, and living our own truth.
Social media has given me the ability to align myself with like-minded people. The builders, the dreamers, the believers, the fighters, the creators, the truth speakers. Within this community, I have grown to see that we all hold so much power. We all offer something brilliant and beautiful. We all have a story that needs to be told. Live your truth. Be vulnerable. Inspire others to do the same.
📸 @ifitismeanttobe // Winner 2019 Local Tourist Photo Challenge
Great post! I’m a curvy Canuck too… and I hear ya! I’m now with someone who loves me for who and how I am, and it’s amazing. Still dealing with a toxic ex, but days a brighter and I’m enjoying hearing other stories such as yours! Love you clothing line and how you show it off. Keep on keepin’ on!
Hey, just came across your blog!! Love your euthisam, good for you!!! Your doing great, look beautiful… and do inspiring. And that’s what I see past the outer beauty which you also have.
You look great. keep that attitude its a winner and so are you.
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